Black Ink and Parchment

I will always overthink every corner of my existence on this planet. It isn’t something I can turn off. It is a constant companion like the north star guiding my poetry, writing, and relationships.  

The universe holds all the answers to myriads of questions, yet refuses to share them. So we’re left here, circling the same questions—what if, how, why—until they echo louder than the truth ever could.

There’s something about wandering in the beauty of nature that makes you feel small, whether it is getting lost in a redwood forest, standing beside an infinite ocean, boating on the bayou, or driving through the desert at sunset. It reminds you how much you don’t know. Here are some things I wonder as I wander…

1. Why does silence stretch like the sky has swallowed every truth?
2. Am I becoming who I was written in the stars to be, or am I just the darkness between constellations?
3. Was I ever meant to stay in one place, or am I like heat lightning, bright for a second, then gone without a trace?
4. When I leave, do people feel it? Does my absence settle over them like fog on back roads, or does it lift the moment I’m out of sight?
5. How much of my life is something I chose, and how much was written long before me in old stories, bloodlines, or in stars that burned out decades before I was born?
6. Do people regret losing me in the same way abandoned houses remember family names long after they’re gone?
7. How many versions of me exist out there? Am I part of a fractured fairytale storyline?
8. Was I something you loved, or something you survived like a hurricane that strengthened overnight?
9. How long does it take for a memory to sour before it stops tasting like something worth keeping?
10. Was I ever truly known, or just misread—like tea leaves examined in the wrong hands?

I remain torn between wanting the answers and hiding from them. Would I rather be surprised, or told outright? Maybe I would rather not know at all. Yes, Ignorance is bliss, but I think I’ll keep wondering even if it means waiting until the stars fall from tomorrow’s sky.